Those poor saps. Holed up in that swanky hotel in suburban Dallas trying to wade through this mess.
Rivalry Week came and went, and now the 13 members of the College Football Playoff selection committee have to wrap their collective minds around another chaotic week of upsets.
All that’s at stake are the precious 12 spots in the playoff.
“I’m still trying to digest everything that just happened,” Ohio State coach Ryan Day said.
So is the CFP selection committee. But here we go:
Michigan beat No.2 Ohio State, again. Now the best win for the Buckeyes is Penn State, whose best win is a loss to Ohio State.
Penn State, since losing to Ohio State on Nov. 2, has beaten Washington, Purdue, Minnesota and Maryland (combined record of 18-30), and will likely move all the way to the No. 2 ranking.
Penn State will trail only No. 1 Oregon, whose best win is against Ohio State. Then there’s 11-win Indiana, who best win is a loss to Ohio State.
See the lunacy yet?
Oh, it gets better.
Texas decided to finally make a statement, bullying Texas A&M and getting its first win against a CFP-ranked team — only three months into the season. The Longhorns will now play Georgia in the SEC championship game, the same Georgia that scared the Bevo out of Texas in October with a humiliating beating in Austin.
And speaking of humiliating, while Ohio State was gagging in yet another loss to Michigan, the fall guy for last year’s loss in The Game (quarterback Kyle McCord) led Syracuse to an upset of Miami. The same Miami that had been the playoff committee’s projected ACC champion since the first poll in early November.
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The Hurricanes lost for the second time in three games, and are out. Of everything.
That would be Tennessee, whose best win is Alabama, which lost by 21 points last week to six-loss Oklahoma, and beat seven-loss Auburn this week — and is likely in the CFP despite that hideous finish to November.
SMU, the hottest team not named South Carolina, will play Clemson in the ACC championship game, and may be in the tournament win or lose.
Clemson lost at home to the hottest team in college football, and the Tigers are in the ACC championship game — while South Carolina is on the CFP bubble after its sixth consecutive win.
So now what does the CFP selection committee do? Here’s a guess, knowing the men and women of the committee have shown a distinct propensity for wins (how many, not necessarily good wins) and the Big Ten.
1. Oregon: Ducks are only undefeated FBS team while pushing through a fairly navigable schedule. That will change in the CFP.
2. Texas: The defense is much better now than what Georgia saw in October.
3. SMU: A year ago, Mustangs bribed the ACC (because that’s what the $200 million initiation fee was) just to get in the league. Now look.
4. Arizona State: Projected Big 12 champion gets first-round bye, and possibly a quarterfinal game in Glendale, Arizona.
5. Notre Dame: QB Riley Leonard is hitting his stride, and Irish are dangerous.
6. Georgia: Get Dawgs away from Athens, and it’s a different team.
7. Tennessee: A huge moment for QB Nico Iamaleava against Vanderbilt. Maybe Vols pass game is a legit threat moving forward.
8. Ohio State: How do the Buckeyes move forward after a gut-punch loss that collapsed everything built this offseason?
9. Penn State: I have no idea what the committee sees in this team, but they’ll be No. 2 in the nation (and No.5 seed) on Tuesday. That’s a lock.
10. Alabama: Tide could be traveling to Tennessee or Georgia/Texas in a first round game against an SEC rival.
11. Boise State: Mountain West Conference champion — Boise State or UNLV — gets this spot.
12. Indiana: Who among us believes Indiana beats South Carolina?
Matt Hayes is the senior national college football writer for USA TODAY Sports Network. Follow him on X at @MattHayesCFB.
(This story was updated to change a video.)